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Monday’s Quotes: Dexter ~ Part One

If you didn’t already know (or you were living under a rock) Dexter is an American television series, that first premiered in 2006. The series focuses on Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall), a blood spatter pattern analyst for Miami Metro Police Department Homicide Unit. And he also happens to lead a secret life as a serial killer, who only kills murderers and bad people. The show is intriguing, and keeps you engaged for hours on end. In fact I’ve devoured the first five seasons in the last few weeks, and am now on the sixth season. Dexter has been airing for eight years now, with the eight season airing in June, later this year. I recommend you all go check out this show, if crime shows are your thing, and even if they aren’t.


So, for Monday Quotes, I have decided to pick some of my favourite quotes from the show and share them with you. It’s been difficult as it was hard to narrow it down, so I’m just bringing you my favs from the first two seasons!


Dexter Morgan [voiceover]: Hey, wanna play? Yes, I want to play. I really, really do.

Sergeant Doakes: You give me the f**king creeps, you know that Dexter?

Dexter Morgan: Yeah, I know, sorry about that.

Dexter Morgan: Harry and Dorris Morgan did a wonderful job raising me. But they’re both dead now. I didn’t kill them. Honest.

Lt. Maria Laguerta: So then he must have already had the head with him in the front seat. Huh, that’s weird. Why would he keep it there?

Dexter Morgan: I don’t know. So he could use a carpool lane?

Dexter Morgan: I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for Letterman. But knowing what to say when my girlfriend’s feeling insecure… I’m totally lost.

Dexter Morgan [voiceover]: Most people have a hard time dealing with death, but I’m not most people. It’s the grief that makes me uncomfortable. Not because I’m a killer, really. I just don’t understand all that emotion, which makes it tough to fake.

[putting on sun glasses]  

Dexter Morgan: In those cases, shades come in handy.


Dexter Morgan: Etorphine Hydrochloride?

Vince Masuka: An animal tranquilizer more powerful than morphine. Causes total paralysis. That mark on her neck kept bugging me, so I ordered up a tox screen.

Dexter Morgan [voice over]: That’s it. No more doughnuts for Masuka.

Dexter Morgan: Maybe if I don’t blink, my eyes will tear up.

Sergeant Doakes [Doakes seemingly walks up out of nowhere]: Stop grinning like a f**king psycho and get back to work!

Rita Bennett: I got your message. How’s Debra?

Dexter Morgan: Hmm, she has all her limbs.

Rita Bennett: Thank God she is alive. That poor thing must be a mess, falling for a serial killer.

Dexter Morgan: What are the odds?

Dexter Morgan: His happy place. Where he kills more than time.


Debra Morgan: My psycho-killer fiancé? Please, I’ve had worse. At least he paid for my meals.

Masuka: Say it.

Dexter: (sighs) You’re my daddy?

Masuka: Sounds weird when you say it.

Rita: (referring to the Bay Harbour Butcher) You know, I hope they catch him today, and I’m not a violent person, but I hope they hurt him. (turns to kiss Dexter) Have a good day.

Dexter: (voice over) Make up your mind.

Rita: (about her mother) You’ll like her, Dexter. She’s great. She’s a very strong woman.

Dexter: I’ll keep that in mind in case I have any heavy lifting to do.

Masuka: How come you got a hug and I get a pat on the nose?

Angel: Cause you’re like a retarded puppy.

 Dexter (to a dead Jimenez): Can’t leave you here. Can’t take you with me. Don’t go anywhere.

Lundy: What exactly is Sergeant Doakes’ problem with you, Morgan?

Dexter (voice over): I kill people, for one.

Deb: I wondered if maybe you were also cheesed about my whole not-disclosing thing. I don’t want you to think I’m unsure or… embarrassed or anything.

Lundy: Why would you be embarrassed? I’m hot!

Hope you enjoyed these quoted whether you’re a fan or not, but tune in over the next few weeks, for the rest of my favourite Dexter quotes from the other five seasons.

For more check out: http://www.tvfanatic.com/quotes/shows/dexter/season-1/

Rach, x



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